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Wednesday, June 22, 2005
When zombies drink vanilla milkshakes

Forgive my catatonia, shiro

Somewhere along Katipunan last Saturday, I lost all significant social skills and the ability to appreciate an overpriced cup of coffee with seemingly intellectual testosterone-charged gamers-slash-go-getters. The week that ended and the week that had yet to come both caught up with me... System shutdown.

Ahh, well.

(Deal with the hand you're dealt, an inebriated stranger once said to me.)

On a different note:

It has never occured to me how DLSU has almost no symbol or significant physical element that could be, uhm, stolen by, say, wretched blue creatures whose school loyalty more than makes up for an otherwise droll social makeup (I'm talking stereotypes here. Exceptions do exist. *stares blankly*).

Those white corinthian columns are not uniquely Lasallian. The Philippine Post Office building has them, too. There are no statues or icons that ignite the so-called Animo... So while a certain Loyola Heights campus can safeguard the sword of St. Ignatius and a ridiculously large inanimate bird, what else can greenbloods swear to love and protect? (McDonald's Taft? Randy Santiago's collection of eyewear?)


(Greetings, Joe.)


I resolve to try writing poetry.

Sunday, June 19, 2005
When zombies go to church

The music ministry stands up; the drummer cues and the band breaks into a song of praise. Out of my seat, I slowly rise, eyes closed and head pounding. I want to sleep... Tomorrow, everything starts all over again. The music, usually so inviting and warm, seeps into my ear, travelling down my body as I take a deep, deep and tired breath, and trickles out on the stone floor, cooled down by a spirit frosted by fatigue and frustation (yeah, in teen-angst fashion I have once again succumbed to -well what else?-depression). I should be home in bed. I shouldn't inflict my presence on anyone anymore...




In a low voice, someone has said my name. I struggle out of my stupor, my eyelids creaking open. Huhh..? Worship has ended. Oh. The congregation has sat down. Ohh. Except for me.


Friday, June 17, 2005
The sounds of a love story

Silence alone is great;
All else is weakness.
(Alfred DeVigny)

Tell me now, how I could search for silence when all I want to hear is the sound of...

...OPM on a borrowed guitar
---shivering in denim cutoffs as lithe fingers plucked chords and heartstrings, lyrics and stares forming a melody that knows no rhythm save for heartbeats and deep breaths, watching, waiting, unfolding a prelude to a prayer and a first kiss that sealed your fate and mine.

...falling rain
---a soft blanket that embraces senses and sensibilities, draping gently across leaves and awnings and washing away fears and questions, dirt dissolving with every drop, draining into a vast wasteland, a dry prison, stranger to smile and song - until you came along.

---distant rumbles travelling through skies and spaces between us, teaching me to listen and teaching you to cast your wishes upon unseen stars.

---graceful tones that mark daybreaks and promises, wind and wood, metal and magic, earthen tunes whose timbre reverberates across empty ceilings and whose echoes testify to the healing power of memory.


So. Quiet days are best spent dreaming, I hear.

Thursday, June 16, 2005
A theory on destructive interference

An interesting, albeit brief, fusion of Love and Physics (courtesy of Ernest Macalalad, a friend and ally):

"People are like light waves."


"When light waves meet up or their courses collide, there is interference. There are cases when this becomes a good thing, such as when there is additive or constructive interference that results in a new wave with increased amplitude..."


"But, suppose you have two waves: Same wavelength. And yet travelling out of phase with each other; one wave's crest meets with the other wave's trough... Ultimately, they cancel each other out. We call that destructive interference."

"Hmm..." *blinks*


Life feels like a medley of recycled love songs these days.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Yesterday, I felt the universe mocking me:

Two friends told me their loved ones had irrevocably left them. You see, Joy? You are not special. You are not the only one basking in glorious misery. (But our case was different. We arrived at a mutual decision...) Sure, sure, say what you want to say. In the end all that's left are the detritus of human sentiments, spilled guts and blood and all the rest of the broken pieces of a botched emotional experiment... It's over and he's gone... (Anak ng kamoteng kinain ng kambing... Tumigil ka na lang. All hope is not lost.) Gee. When are you goin' to wake up, girl? (When there is no more beauty in feeling pain.) Oh you insufferable, insufferable fool! (Oh you arrogant, unfeeling realist!)

Yesterday, yeah, I felt the universe mocking me. I mocked right back.

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